engagement/ promise rings?

[Amanda J. Delisle]

This is an issue I've been having since before my daughter was born. I live with her father, but it took until about a week after we found out she was on the way for him to ask me to be his girlfriend. I really want to take our relationship to the next level, or at least have the promise of that happening. I'm kind of afraid of it taking too long once again for him to pop the question with his commitment issues. He didn't get me anything for our daughter being born, my birthday, Valentine's day, or my first Mother's day. And I know there's no way we could get married for at least a few years.

Is it unfair of me to want this from him?

[Ona Mission]

Plain and simple: you can't make a man do something he doesn't want to do. The most you can do is be there for him and be the best person you can be in the relationship, and hope he'll come around. Counting how many presents he's gotten you, and making a fuss about whether or not he remembers the milestone events in your relationship, while he's not putting in the effort himself, truly sounds exhausting.

I understand you want to take things to the next level, but most relationships that do that take time. My advice is to ask him what he sees in the future with you. The first step is even finding out whether he even sees you both reaching a next level.

To answer your question, you are completely entitled to want all of these from him. Knowing he is committed will reassure you that you and your baby daughter are secure with the "Mom, Dad and baby" picture. But if he's not committed, have a plan B. What will you do if he decides to say he's not ready to get married. Will you know how to handle the situation?