The Fathers that dont Understand

[Trinity Bauer]

does anyone have any tips on how to get the father of my child to stop acting like a selfish child?? Im still pregnant, 15 weeks, and its been really really hard on me.  Ive lost 15 lbs and some days i can eat, some days i can't.  Im moody and irritable probably half because of the pregnancy and half because I'm starving and shrinking out of my clothes and getting a little depressed.  Throwing up all day long makes a female feel really ugly sometimes. Through it all i have tried my best to be there for him physically in the ways that he needs me and financially in that I have kept up more than my end of the bills and still manage to work full time, even though my doc wants me to stop working.  But the man doesnt seem to care.  I get a craving for something the second i hang up the phone from ordering something else and i mention it bc the irony makes it hilarious to me..but he kills the mood bc he tells me to "just stop being crazy."  He's always telling me to stop saying whatever it is im saying thats pregnancy related.  and i wish he could understand and maybe have patience or care or something.  we planned this pregnancy, it was his idea so its not like he didnt have time to mentally prepare.  He's being really selfish and it makes me cry all the time bc im so emotional and even when im in a good mood if i say something he doesnt understand, he's all over me for no reason. How do i get him to understand? How do I get him to stop being so testy himself?? This is ridiculous to me. 

[Sandra Deimes - Resident Mom]

Well, first of all you have to ask yourself if the way he is now is the way he has always been, but your pregnancy is making you notice it more. If he has always been insensitive then you can't expect him to change now, if he hasn't been insensitive then its time to talk and find out what has changed. Next you should also know that men are a lot like children. They need reassurance and they can feel overshadowed by the attention you may be getting. Pregnancy doesn't hit home for a lot of fathers until they can feel the baby moving or until the baby is actually born. When I was pregnant, my health was miserable! I threw up so much that I was hospitalized. After that the Dr. started me on zofran? I think that's the name. It changed everything. Chances are if you feel better yourself, then you won't be as dependent on his happiness. In other words, don't let him rain on your parade. If nothing works, don't be sad. Get yourself to a place where you feel well and think only about you and your baby. Retail therapy, nesting... it all works. Maybe some of the excitement and happiness will rub off. Best of luck!!

[Trinity Bauer]

thanks! i really appreciate the advice. im hoping things get better after we find out what we're having. maybe itll be more real to him.